As a brief recap: In 2004 three teen boys befriended Rex Baum, a homeless man, at his camp in Milwaukee, Wisconsin and drank beer with him. Before long they were brutally attacking him and ended up killing him. They were caught and sentenced, aided by their bragging about the act around town.

This action was blamed on video games.

I’m hardly a big supporter of video games and I’ll not be an apologists here for them but I do feel scapegoats are a lovely thing to have rather than face the cold reality. Kids made choices and the choice in question was to kill. The Playstation wasn’t there to prompt them.

At penny-arcade.com the step mother of one of the boys allegedly wrote in to respond to a posting there two days previously. The original post is here, as the third item on the page, and the step mother’s response is contained within the second item on this page. Apparently the boy was not just a monster in the making–he was already well past the evil stage.

On the upside: attacks against homeless people may be officially declared a hate crime in California. Currently this is only the case in Maine.

I really feel for the folks on the West Coast as the heat sound positively punishing out there–housed, homeless or van dweller. Here in the midwest it’s only in the low to mid 90s today. This isn’t even bad compared to the 100s out west yet I’m planning my days around the heat and humidity. I can’t sleep much past about 8am or so as the sun gets the van too hot. And I can’t get to sleep until about 1-2am as the residual heat of the day has been retained in the thermal mass of the van. So I’m getting about six hours a night, which is okay–just not ideal.

Lately I’ve been finding air conditioned buildings to spend my time in midday and late afternoon as living in a van during the day in the summer is out of the question. I’m quite glad that I look like just another local doing a little research and soaking up some free internet as I’d hate to loose this resource. Power, internet, water fountains and nice cool air conditioning. There’s no homeless look about me, at least I don’t think so. The library has been a bigger and bigger help to me as the battery on my laptop is getting near useless for anything but quickly checking email and a little internet usage unless I have a somewhere to plug into. It’s holding maybe 25% of the power it originally did and is mighty inconvenient.

So I’d love to get on the internet more at night. Or even just be able to write. But that’ll have to wait until later as I’ll need to find a new battery somewhere. Until then I’ll just be happy reading or journaling. I’d much rather be productive but that’s a tall order in a town where everything is closed at 9pm outside of grocery stores and gas stations.

Which makes me think of an article I read about the West coast heat wave. One person interviewed was describing her means of sleeping. She lays on an air mattress in her living room where there’s the greatest air flow and falls asleep with frozen wash cloths on her head and feet. As they warm and she wakes she replaces then with fresh ones from the freezer and hopes the supply last until morning.

This was presented as a worst case scenario in the article and it struck me as I was reading it. I’d love to have air flow! A breeze, anything! And a freezer? How luxurious! I’m just glad I’m not parked out West or I’d be getting eaten alive by bugs as I’d be forced to sleep outside in a park somewhere.

The funny thing to me is that I’ve been thinking how much nicer life would be on the West coast as it’s generally much more mild than the Midwest where I am. Is this fate telling me to be happy where I am?

This is a long read but quite worth while for a glimpse at what living in a vehicle is like. William Alford lives in Virginia near DC and has lived extensively in cars and a trailer.

Please check out these guides to your constitutionally provided rights. The cops, feds and DHS are not your friends and are not looking out for your best interest when they just want to ask “a couple questions.” The are looking for a crime and will gladly use carefully crafted question and pressure to get you to yield your rights  so you can make your own noose to slip your own neck into.

Flex Your Rights produced a video detailing what to do and not to do when stopped by officers and Busted is currently available on google videos. The ACLU also has a convenient pocket card along with other downloads to help you keep secure your constitutionally provided rights. NORML has a great plain language summary of your rights too though I wouldn’t be caught dead reading their Freedom Card in front of a cop. Last thing I’d want to flash before a cops eyes is the logo of a marijuana legalization organization. But if anyone needs to know this information it’s the pot heads who are always carrying.

The video is also supplied as a torrent by Flex Your Rights if you’d like a higher resolution version without actually purchasing it. Info on what a BitTorrent is here.

I just read the blog of an online friend of mine, someone that I know well electronically but have never met despite our living two blocks from each other when I had an address. Her career path was strikingly similar to mine in many ways and I’ve used her as a gauge for what should be going on with me.

She’s been marginally employed the last couple years too and has worked all of a couple days in the last four or so months. Previously to that she was working about two months on and two or three months off at some so called “permanent” positions that never seemed to last. And it wasn’t her fault either as before being let go she’d be complaining of having nothing to do at work and having to pretend to be busy for days or weeks at a stretch.

Fortunately for her she has unemployment insurance and a husband who invests in real estate so they don’t really need her income anyways, but she actually likes what she does for a living and wants to contribute to a more comfortable lifestyle for her household. As such she comment that yet another day of job searching has yielded no phone calls or emails–which has been the case for several months now for her.
We’ve both been subjected to the whims of a poor economy, a shifting and disintegrating job market and global outsourcing. But she fortunately has her husband to fall back on. For myself and many others though there is no such safety net. But still, it’s been comforting to know that she’s okay and I’m not purely at fault for being so financially impaired.

from Indymedia

“The homeless people that live here are the luckiest homeless in Fresno.” Surprised by the statement, I asked undercover Fresno Police Officer Ray Wallace what he meant. “They have maid service. We come out and clean up for them about every other week.” The cleaning party today was particularly vigorous.

The letter handed out by the Fresno Police Department, giving notice of the “clean up” said they would “start at 8:00am.” I arrived at 7:50 AM and the destruction of property was already well under way. One homeless woman told me that everything she owned had been destroyed because she was a few minutes too late to save it. “I had paper work in there that can’t be replaced,” she said.

Within a couple of minutes, half of the shopping carts were destroyed. One sanitation worker was heard saying that he wished he could get a nickle for every shopping cart he destroyed.

Of course, this isn’t the first time Fresno made some bad karma for itself.

One car ride, two trains and two long walks later and I’m in my old neighborhood in Chicago for the long weekend. Mostly I’ve been visiting friends and I’ve had several substantial walks around my old stomping ground and had a few observations.

Finding housing isn’t the problem. Affording it is.

The area is starting to gentrify but still has plenty of rough edges. Lots of lower income folks are still here and still a significant presence of the very poor seeming people so it’s hardly some luxurious neighborhood yet. But when I walked past a building I once considered moving into I was shocked to see their available apartments posted. They have shoe box studios for $715 a month. These units couldn’t have been much over 250 square feet and while they seemed safe and clean enough they sure weren’t “nice.” Once basic utilities are tacked on this is over $9,000 a year just to have enough space for a bed, dresser and desk. To keep housing below one third of yearly income this would require earning over $30,000 a year before taxes. This in a town where the average per capita income is slightly over $20,000 yearly.

There’s little wonder in my head why today I found out that another friend is moving out of this area for greener pastures. You simply pay too much to stay in some place that’s a tiny little bit of floor space in an area where gun shots still are all too common a sound.

Poor Folks: broke and made to stay that way

A friend of mine lives in a neighborhood that’s just on the edge of a place you don’t go easily at night. It’s one of the higher crime areas but as it’s relatively affordable it’s where lots of poor and struggling people resort to living. But, this is also a ‘hood where old stock houses are going for up to $800,000 in a condition requiring total gutting and redevelopment as they were once micro-divided flop houses that now house only pigeons and puddles. Granted they could easy be made into two or three unit apartment building so they’re large, but they’re still in a gang ridden crime rich area with some very low per capita income stats. Clearly another enclave of affordability is going to get crazy expensive in comparison to average income.

It was here I went thrift shopping and was shocked at the high prices poor people are expected to pay for cast off junk and occasional gems. This is where I’ve done much of my shopping over the last few years but now their prices aren’t making sense at all. Some of the items were priced near retail and still weren’t a bargain on half price Monday. So where are the poor supposed to save a buck? This isn’t a cash cow outlet in some upper middle class suburban strip mall used to subsidize sales at other locations, this was in the heart of a severely depressed area!

On the way back to my friends house we stopped at a convenience store. Mind you, this is the sort of neighborhood that doesn’t have conventional grocery stores. There’s a couple small ethnic markets but mostly it’s little corner convenience stores that charge and arm and a leg for everything. I treated myself to a bottle of Coke, breaking my no caffeine rule, and my friend wanted beer and was shopping the six packs.

I was appalled at the price gouging on alcohol and as she debated on brand I realized that most of their food items were grossly inflated too. Easily they had marked up prices a good 50% over what a normal grocery or liquor store a few blocks away would charge for the same item, be it beer or food. And when the local grocery is already inflating their prices the gougers are really making a killing. But they evidently sell well at such inflated prices as they were mighty busy selling to people who were too lazy to take the nearly one mile round trip walk to greener shopping pastures.

My Coke was oddly $1.29, the current going rate in Chicago for a single serve bottle and at this place was an absolute steal.

It’s all a mater of perspective.

I was riding public transportation and a gentleman was nearing his stop and was edging his way to the door to exit. He was rather well past due on showering and his clothing probably hadn’t been washed since Eisenhower was in office. He was the epitome of disheveled. Stops are more like pauses so you best be ready to exit and readying yourself while the bus is moving is the norm. As he was walking and using both hands to keep himself up his pants dropped to the ground.

Sitting next to me was a woman who was in her early middle-ages, a decade or two younger than the embarrassed flasher. She was seemingly missing an eye with no prosthetic or patch to cover the gap, wild and crazy hair, poor skin, fashions from the last decade or two and lips that looked like gnarled tree bark covering the few remaining teeth she had. She broke from her stupor to say, “That man needs to get his self together!”

The haves and have nots

It’s been really refreshing to get away from the status and material wealth obsessed people I’ve been around the last month or so. Flirting around in easy van dwelling territories has brought me into many conversations where being poor means not buying new cars rather than walking a couple miles to save the two bucks for a bus. One suburban person couldn’t understand why I didn’t just order an RV with all the things I wanted rather than buy an old used van, repair it and build my own. When I mentioned the price barrier she said, “oh no, they’re really not that expensive. So and so just bought one!” As so and so must be much richer than I could hope to be I just let this topic fade as there was going to be no common ground. My entire van cost about what one month’s payment would be on such a ready made convenience.

Being around people this weekend who are appreciative of things as small as having pants that stay up is really refreshing. Same with being in urban neighborhoods were everything isn’t all homogenized and polished like in suburbia. My urban homeland might be gritty but at least it feels real and not like some pretentious Hollywood facade.

I had a funny phone call yesterday morning, Ted Koppel, the retired ABC news mogul called to inquire about an interview. I of course said yes and shortly thereafter was a knock on my door…

Ted Koppel: Thank you for allowing me into your van for this time together, and the tea is much appreciated on the cool and rainy day.

April Graham: It’s my pleasure Ted! The Hoopty Van doesn’t get many visitors, being so small and filled with stuff there’s barely room for me!

TK: And yet you manage a nice cup of tea…

AG: Lipton’s manages the tea, I just facilitate with the water boiling.

TK: Aside from the joviality, the last few weeks of you life have been causing quite a buzz back at the news bureau at ABC. They pulled me from retirement for this. So, what’s behind all your rethinking of employment.

AG: Well Ted, this is beyond just mere employment and is a rethinking of income. Jobs provide income but so can many other things. So instead of endlessly chasing dead end paths and wasting time applying for jobs and professional gigs that’ll would net me a proper job should my resume and cover letter not end up ignored–as they almost always do–I decided to cut out the middleman so to speak and go right to the money.

TK: So you’re giving up on jobs then?

AG: Not entirely. After several years of chasing every employment lead I could muster the energy for I’ve found almost no reward for all that hard work. And work is the correct term here–unpaid work. Researching employers, writing specific cover letters, tailoring resumes, follow up emails and phone calls…it’s all quite time and energy consuming. And since I don’t enjoy doing it in the least, I mean, who really does enjoy job searching, it feels like work and it acts like work but it doesn’t net any gain. There’s no money for all that toil. It’s no wonder to me why so many people who have jobs complain about them endlessly yet never move on to something better! It takes a really dramatically bad job to motivate most people. Job searching is just plain no fun hard work!

TK: Quite true! It’s why I stuck with ABC for so many years!

AG: So in analyzing my problem, the having no money or income one, I realized that spending all my time applying to jobs was wasting my time. That all those hours could have been put to more productive use. Ten, fifteen, twenty hours a week and sometimes more being spent chasing employment leads, other time being spent going to networking socials, preparing presentations, preparing bids for freelance work…oh the freelance stuff has really been bugging me lately too…

TK: Why is that? And do you have some more sugar? Perhaps a spot of lemon too?

AG: Sugar, yes…here you go. Sorry, no fridge means no lemon wedges. The US government doesn’t care about skilled labor, just like it didn’t care about manufacturing. Like way back, when various foreign countries with lower costs started taking away manufacturing jobs from here in the US. Slowly everything became made elsewhere else and now there is very few physical products made in this country. The problem is there’s no protection of jobs here in the US and the same is happening in fields besides manufacturing. So now I, an American citizen, must compete against people in India for skilled office work. They speak English and with high speed data lines and VOIP making international calls nearly free there’s no barrier anymore. So where I could once make a living wage suddenly the market price is getting down to $2 per hour–because that’s what someone in India can call a good wage! Heck, we export so much of our culture that they probably even have a better grasp on the American collective consciousness than I have as I don’t watch television or listen to the radio.

TK: Perhaps you should be cutting back on your own sugar, you’re getting a bit hyper here.

AG: Well, yes, but this is my life and it’s being negatively impacted by forces I can’t control. So I’m going to try controlling what I can, namely appealing for money to someone other than the employers of the world. Job searching has yielded nothing but further job searching. And in thinking about this I realized I just need to go straight to the source.

TK: And what’s that source?

AG: The well spring of all money of course, the consumer. Every business exists for the sole purpose of making, converting or processing something that a consumer ultimately wants to buy. RIght? So why not just skip all the middle part and go to straight to making a product and marketing it?

TK: So what is your plan then?

AG: I assessed my skills and really did a bit of soul searching on this one. I realized that I have limited means, a small van, little cash, no credit and few resources. There’s lots of things I can do so I made lists and figured out the viability of various things. Some abilities are less in demand, some require special tools or venues, some are just not marketable. So I need to pull magical products to sell straight out of the air. And this first stage of reinvention actually plays into my skills perfectly!

TK: How is that?

AG: You are here with me, right? But this is all imagination so therefore you’re not really here. This is, in a way, the gist of the plan. It’s being creative that I’m good at, period–seeing problems and finding innovative solutions. I’m good with words too despite being a total failure in all my English classes except those dealing with composition. But even there it’s a matter of creativity. After all, I didn’t need to invent you into this conversation. Right? But I did because I was getting tired of writing in the same perspective all the time.

TK: So does this tea really exist?

AG: My cup does, your cup does not.

TK: Then why did you deny me lemon? Couldn’t you have just dreamed that up too?

AG: Well, yes. Sorry.

TK: In light of your inhospitable treatment of your imaginary friends, could we get to your plan? I think I have a plane to catch.

AG: Yes of course, but first I’ll retroactively make you dislike lemon so that you never asked for it in the first place. Then you’ll drop your attitude and stay for a bit. Again, the Hoopty Van doesn’t get many guest and we like to keep those who stick around. But back to the plan… In my pondering I was poking around the internet to see how others make money. Why reinvent the wheel? I spent a bit of time on www.etsy.com as I’ve had friends who sold hand crafts through there. And while I can’t sew or crochet like they do, at least not enough to actually be good at it, I thought maybe something might click, that something would inspire me.

TK: And did it?

AG: Yes! Quite! I started seeing all these t-shits and decorated bags and jewelry and various things that are outside my scope. But then I saw a print by M. Lee and thought, “huh… I could do that.” Not to denigrate her skills, but I’ve always dabbled in art and I wasn’t specifically thinking about her art but more about the idea of selling it online. Art was something I did when quite young and later even took some art classes in college. Even in my personal journal, the paper kind, I make silly little sketches for myself. Nothing that I’d ever want to show anyone, they’re just for my reference, but I figured I could spin up something interesting.

TK: And have you? What have you done?

AG: Looking around I saw that drawings and even prints didn’t sell for much money. And I don’t think my drawing skills alone could ever feed me and I can’t imagine making the room to make prints in my van. But I’m pretty good with color and value, plus I already had some acrylic paints, so I though I’d give painting another go. Besides, a while back I saw a book on how to cartoon and animate and thought, “wow, I’d really love to learn how to draw…to really draw.”

TK: So what is your painting history?

AG: It’s something that I’ve dabbled in ever since I was little, starting with little pans of watercolors. I also drew a lot, for a bored kid, and enjoyed it along with various other creative outlets. Once I was even called the art teachers pet as I skipped recess to help her clean up the art room. I’ve given most of my work to friends or simply repainted over the losers to save on expenses. It was a fun thing…a hobby. Sometimes I’d go on binges, like in college in the 90s when I took painting classes and bought a nice kit of acrylics. I’ve always been attracted to the romantic fantasy of the artist’s life, but let’s face it, the cliche of the starving artist didn’t come about from someone’s wicked irony. It’s why in high school and early college I chose more practical matters like computers and business and journalism. So I’d go years between paintings sometimes as I was too busy doing the so called important stuff.

TK: So you’re going to revisit your youth in some flight of fancy dream?

AG: No, not quite. I had some paints and once I sorted out the tubes that had gone bad there was enough to make a decent color wheel. I had some brushes and some medium. All I needed was something to paint on and once I thought about it a bit I had that too. Part of this reinvention process was trying to not spend any money at all. I knew someone who just did a home remodeling project and had some leftover masonite. In their garage I also found some pigmented shellac to use as gesso. So I was just a cup of water away from getting started.

TK: May I see one?

AG: Of course…here you go

TK: This is quite nice. Please tell me about it.

AG: I’ve been attracted to random images I find while surfing, so I started pulling from there for subject matter. I took a bunch out and realized the ones I chose were all about this idealization of happiness and prosperity. Like the little boy who’s absolutely living in his 1960s moment of glory, being a cowboy on the open range and defending the ranch from his perch in the brush. To me it’s the fairy tale iconic image of Americana wholesomeness that just screams out that he just had a PB+J sandwich with the crusts trimmed off and a glass of whole milk for lunch–made by his June Cleaver mother. He probably offered a bit of the sandwich to his teddy bear too.
TK: What about the process? I see a drawing under there…

AG: Yes. It was first sketched out lightly then painstakingly inked. Normally when I draw I just slap something down and call it good. It’s just for my entertainment after all. But now with the inspiration of money–and food–I spent more time with it. The inking alone took about 90 minutes for Desperado aside from the sketching and paintings. This was less about drawing really and more about choosing what to include or exclude from the photo and transcribing it over to the masonite panel. It’s more of a comic inspired means of painting.
TK: [laughing] That’s a humorous title, Desperado.

AG: Oh thanks, I prefer to have fun with life. How’s your tea? Could I offer you more? Some lemon perhaps?

TK: A freshen up would be nice, and some sugar. But no lemon! I can’t stand the stuff.

AG: Here you go, tea sans lemon–with sugar.

TK: Thanks. Anything more?

AG: Yes. There’s two more. This one is called Self Esteem.

TK: What’s behind that title?

AG: Think about Ozzie Harriet. She was always in dresses and pearls like the other moms of the era. But why? Is that a practical mode of dress to be a mom? Pearls? To vacuum a rug, go shopping then make dinner? My take on it, and mind you I’m not a historian, is that in the years post-World War II there was a great deal of prosperity in America and everything was grand. So there was this elevated ideal for what was “the good life,” this non-threatening straight and narrow view of what was proper. This is what I grew up in, parents who thought I should wear a skirt and nice shoes and that jeans were for working in the yard. They are miner’s britches after all. It was like there was an ego blow to my mother every time I stepped out to play in jeans that, at the least, weren’t perfectly and evenly dark blue as if they just came from the store that day. After all, what would the neighbors think of my family when I went out looking like that. My parents always had this perception of worth as defined by what everyone else thought. So a pretentious show of faux pearls to proudly buy steak in a nice dress would fit perfectly into my childhood. It’s probably why the reruns of black and white family comedies appealed to me so much. I really wanted to be a Cleaver.

TK: So these are partially autobiographical?

AG: In a sort. I didn’t make the connection until I had a bunch of images pulled out of the larger pool. Then I realized there was this common these running through. Like this one called Pit Boss…

AG: I have these leisurely fantasy ideas of about some really great barbecue. Dad gather around the big kettle grill, hanging out at a tailgate party, family reunions at the park…these are all happy time ideals! Mom, apple pie, baseball and barbecue. It’s still that wide eyed idealism. Who with a big backyard wouldn’t want a massive kettle barbecue/smoker?

TK: A vegetarian?

AG: Grilled portobello mushrooms are a gourmet treat. But again, these paints are related by their archetypal ideals of the American Good Life. And that seems quite fitting a subject for someone who lives in her van, to subconsciously be selecting the ideals she longs most to have.

TK: So will there be more?

AG: Well, I really need to make money, so if I can sell them then by all means yes! I have plenty more images selected and I enjoyed doing them. And I’m sure I’ll do other themes and ideas too if it works out. But money is the key thing right now. My savings will run out before long and I’ll be penniless. But there’s a beauty here in that if I can make even a small bit of money for these I’d be able to make a reasonable hourly wage for this.

TK: So you will not be the starving artist?

AG: I figure that if I’m starving I might as well be an artist, right?

TK: If needed I could have a member of my entourage take us somewhere for lunch…

AG: That would be beyond my wildest imagination.

At lunch Ted and I talked about the economics of selling art online and how demand is lower than availability. So it’s hardly a sure thing or a big money maker. But, if I can sell these paintings I’ll be making far more per hour than I would just pointlessly job searching. So perhaps I can not only get some gas and food money, but should it really work out I could start an emergency nest egg. Like for some long neglected medical care or a repair fund for my van. Twenty years and 190,000 miles don’t make for a reliable ride.

There’s a few other plans in the works that will take a bit of time to yield fruit. The art idea can go from idea to income in the shortest time frame with nearly zero financial risk to me. I’ve gotten the paints from storage, made some free panels to paint on and I’m now ready to go sit in the shade and work. And should this work out it has the great benefit of being a mobile money maker as if I can sell on the internet then both the purchaser and myself can be most anywhere for the transaction to work. This way I don’t have to be stuck in the snow belt should I still be living in my van come winter.

I was rummaging around and found another variation on the DIY camp stove. Don Johnston’s Photon Stove looks like a variation on the Pepsi Can Stove though with some additional extra features.

There’s two other sites I found interesting too. Backpacking sites have been yielding good information on how to pack light and small which is great for living in a van or car as space is indeed limited. And when I see my vans sagging suspension I get really leery about adding more weight. And while shaving an ounce here or there might not be a dramatic for me it still makes a difference.

Trail Quest’s list of Alternative Gear give cheap to free alternative for fancy and expensive camping gear. Their Ultralight page offer a few ideas as well. The scant treatment people use for gear on backpacking is quite the exercise in minimalism. Backpacking.net’s Make Gear page has many great DIY plans for various camping and outdoor living necessities.

It’s been a long few days. I’ve done a great deal of soul searching and thinking, trying to dream up a new future for myself, or at least a functional present. There’s been much research done on the viability of money making schemes, looking into how other people make money legally and ethically without jobs. Not only looking how money can be made, but how specifically “I” can make money. What fits my skill base, current assets and interests.

I still have a bit of research to do before making my conclusions and drawing up a formal action plan. But I’m progressing and have made various notes and diagrams. I’ve been spending a lot of time at the library plus the usual leaching of wifi here and there to read up and do my research.

Breaking the news

There was much stress this weekend as yesterday was an all family gathering to celebrate a bunch of June birthdays and Father’s Day. This year was extra special as people traveled to make it a family reunion too. It was a great joy to see some people I haven’t seen in a long, long time, but it was also a source of dread.

The last time I saw a couple of these relatives I was still very successful in my career and was riding high on all life had to offer in terms of conventional success. I’ve grown a lot as a person in many amazingly profound ways but I’ve gone from a high rise condo and a very nice income to trying desperately to positively spin living in a beat up crappy looking van.

I don’t think I pulled it off well though and trying to bluff my way through awkward conversations proved to be very challenging. There was so many questions and I just wasn’t feeling on top of my game. I can put positive spins on things and omit facts, but I can’t just come out and claim some lucrative clients or stock market windfalls to allow some hippy fantasy lifestyle as I don’t lie and am horrible at it even if I would try.

Numerous times I saw the pity face being hid behind stoic facades and I don’t think it was my projection onto them. I’ve not been feeling especially well the last few days, part of the reason for not performing well, and I think I was feeling extra down because of it. Not just my physical stresses, but the mental ones of being the family failure. Especially as part of the family that I haven’t seen in a while is the really wealthy section.

These are the folks that wonder when it’s time for vacation whether they should go to the summer home, take a cruise or fly off to some exotic location. Money really isn’t an issue for them and their idea of traveling around in a van would mean a new Sportsmobile or Roadtrek, stays at nice campgrounds and likely a hotel here and there just to take a proper shower and have a night in a normal bed. But all of that is far from what my budget would ever manage.

Still, it was nice to see the cousins that I practically grew up with but now live in distant areas of the country. They used to live really close and geography wasn’t an issue to getting together so they were constant playmates in my youth. It’s funny how their lives have been such a linear path up into tradition wealth and success. One just finished doing their first real estate redevelopment, a old house they’ve restored, and is about to sell and cash it out and start another.

And despite all their money and security I saw the exact same people I saw last time we got together many years back. They’re the exact same people on the exact same paths and little seems to have changed. It makes me wonder how much they’ve grown internally and what changes they’ve had to their deepest core. Fundamentally I’m the same person I was five and even ten years ago, but I’ve dramatically deepened my human experience. I’ve gone places, done things and experimented with life since my employment downturn at the end of 2001 and feel much richer for it–in the non-bankable sense. It’s probably why I don’t get surprised anymore when I hear comments like, “wow, you’re really self-actualized.”

Thankfully, there are things of worth that money just can’t buy. Of these I’m pretty rich.