This week I’ve got an odd little gig for myself. I’m baby sitting for a couple kids, well one namely. The three kids are all old enough that they should be able to care for themselves for a week but one is irresponsible, one has behavioral issues and the other one works full-time and isn’t around enough to police the other two.

It’s a pretty cake situation as I only need to oversee things, to be an authority presence to keep the problem child out of trouble. This basically entails being here as the kids know me and we have mutual respect for each other so the issues are few. The pay isn’t much but I have a place to sleep, a bathroom and kitchen and all the food I care to eat. Plus, I’ll get a couple of dollars too. I’ve done this before, many years ago, and they well know that I’m a very strict disciplinarian for the few things I actually care about enforcing.

Want to watch a movie with swearing that Mom and Dad would freakout over? Fine, watch it. But, you have to hear my lecture on how constant swearing is fool’s means of communication when sprinkled too liberally. That no word is inherently evil or off limits but when half of your sentence is pulled from the same five word pool of swears their meaning dilutes, the effect is nil and you stop actually communicating with any real meaning. Now, let’s watch Pulp Fiction and then talk about Quentin Tarantino’s narrative structure and character development when it’s over.

An object lesson in cops

Last night two of the kids were out in the neighborhood and found a young stray dog with no collar or tags. Thankfully they realized on their own that they weren’t adopting it.

Me: So what do you think we should do?

Eldest: Well, we should probably find the owner.

Me: That could be tough since the dog might have walked for miles.

Eldest: …yeah [proceeds to say it’s an unfamiliar dog, rambles about the neighborhood and is obviously processing through what to do]

Me: The dog looks really healthy and clean, is very friendly and probably has his people looking for him right now as it probably just got loose a while ago. He’s not drinking the water so he hasn’t developed thirst yet either.

Eldest: We could call an animal catcher…

Me: Exactly the right idea! What we should do is call the police non-emergency phone number as it’s what the owners probably did too. It’d be easier than finding some sort of animal control that’s probably not open now anyways. They can then hook the dog back up with the owner as we could spend days combing the neighborhood looking without success for people the police already have spoken to.

I decided to let the eldest child make the phone call handle everything and she did wonderfully. Police were called and came in about twenty minutes. She told them the story, helped get the dog into the squad car as this was one dog who hadn’t learned the magic of the words “car ride” yet.

Having just posted about dubious police tactics I thought this was the universe screaming out for me to teach them how to handle the police. So when it was all over we talked about being respectful, not causing suspicion and protecting our rights. I broke down all the interactions and how things like not inviting them into the home to talk was the right thing to do as the police don’t need to see inside–a good thing too since largely forgotten illegal fireworks were in plain sight on the kitchen counter. With the one that was old enough to drive we talked about what to do when pulled over too.

The Great All Cop Weekends

The parents know me so they’ll not be surprise that thus far I’ve:

• Played music for the kids including NWA’s F@$k The Police and discussed the cultural significance of perceptual changes over time. We talked about the general impact of watershed moments in pop culture and how yesterday’s harbinger of the demise of Western culture is tomorrow’s Muzak. This brought on by hearing Bill Haley’s (We’re Gonna) Rock Around the Clock which is now considered quaint.
• Discussed how to legally and politely keep the police in their place, what their rights are and how to protect them.
• Made the police the first stop for problem resolution with the stray.

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